reports/whaling.html

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   6 Article: 42 of alt.pro.whale.hunting<br>
   7 From: stigs@stud.cs.uit.no (Stig-Lennart Soerensen)<br>
   8 Subject: A short story of how whales are hunted<br>
   9 Date: Mon, 8 Nov 1993 12:03:28 GMT
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  11 <H1>Whaling in the Arctic Sea</H1>
  12 <H2>A short story of how whales are hunted</H2>
  13 My dad, who is a whaler, once took me out to hunt for whales. We started on
  14 a cold sunday morning and subsequently travelled some hours out in the artic sea,
  15 avoiding the random ice bergs and roaming polar bears.<P>
  16
  17 After some hours waiting out at the field together with over 200 other whaling
  18 ships (whaling is a popular hobby in Norway!) we spotted a whale with her little
  19 whale-children. They surfaced and made those cute little bursts of water and air.
  20 We opened fire at once with our AK-47 and UZI's. We use special magnum 9mm
  21 parabellum bullets, uranium depleted, usually used for tanks and that stuff, but
  22 it has proved so effective against whales that major weapons companies has seen
  23 the marked-possibilites in Norway and thus the sales in Norway are some 34
  24 percent of their overall world sales.<P>
  25
  26 The bullets impacted on the whales, and we could see satisfying bursts of blood
  27 squirt from the whales and hear their pathetic yelps of pain. My father hoisted
  28 the ole' pirate flag and I put on Wagners Flight of the Valkyrie on the 200 Mw
  29 stereo equipment. We speeded up and headed in for the kill.<P>
  30
  31 When we were close to the whales, some 20 meters, we could clearly see the
  32 baby-whales (two of them) cling frantically to their mother. We laughed and
  33 rammed their mother with our 40-feet luxury cruiser. The bow has been
  34 specifically modified, so it has an egde which is about 2 molecules thick. Its
  35 very sharp indeed. Thus, we practically sliced the whale in two, and enourmous
  36 amounts of blood shortly ran out of the whale, no no not ran almost exploded. Our
  37 boat were drenched in whale-blood. My black SS-uniform got some unfortunate
  38 blood-stains, but that comes with the territory. <P>
  39
  40 Now the two baby-whales tried to flee us, but we launched a couple of bazookas at
  41 them and then used the flame-thrower on them. Their screams of pain were
  42 incredible. They basked in the sea, frantically trying to swim away or dive, but
  43 were prohibited from that by the fact that the bazookas had taken their tails
  44 off. Hehe. After a slight barbecue feast, I entered the rubber-boat and went
  45 towards them. They now lied slowly in the water, squealing and yealping
  46 helplessly while they still made those pathetic air-burts which now was marked
  47 with bloood! <P>
  48
  49 I took up my .357 and aimed at the youngest baby-whales left eye. Its dark and
  50 completely innocent animal eye looked at me with fear, but I didnt flinch and
  51 blasted a magnum round right in the eye! Splat! The whale went limp-o-limp.
  52 The second now screamed these high-pitched sounds and tried to do anything to get
  53 away from me. But alas, it destiny was sealed. I emptied the rest of the rounds
  54 in the baby-whale. <P>
  55
  56 Afterwards we took the meat and loaded in onto the boat. The other ships, who
  57 were engaged in huntings of their own, greeted our good catch with honks with
  58 their horns. We waved back at them, knowing that our friends would get some whale
  59 today as well.<P>
  60
  61 After some hours travelling back, we came to our city and docked. My fiance
  62 greeted my at the harbour with a big kiss and told me she would show me some
  63 hunting movements in bed! Hehehe!<P>
  64
  65 We sold the meat the japanese and earned some $1.40 billions. <P>
  66
  67 Who says whaling doesnt pay!<P>
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  69 <!%%Author><ADDRESS>Stig-Lennart Sørensen - stigs@stud.cs.uit.no</ADDRESS><!%%EndAuthor>
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